The lesson I've learned is love never fails! We don't have to love perfectly or even consistently, or just the way we or everyone thinks we must - sometimes it's just loving desperately and with a violent determination that will break through all obstacles.
Real Love happens when presumptions are out of the way, when open communication is happening, and when both are growing in faith. If you are meant for one another, then love will come. Love cannot be forced, manipulated, conjured up, or pretended to be real. You can try to force love for a while, but it would be like teaching a dog to walk on its two hind legs. It will be able to do it for a little while, but not very long, and not very well!
One of the first signs of love is seen when you desire what is best for the other person. You begin to have their best interests in mind, with passion and/or conviction along side, when their feelings and needs are of greater importance to you than your own. What love is not is when you place your needs and plans over theirs, and you project what you think their needs are or should be. When you become the one who chooses what the other wants, then you are on the path of self-gratification and manipulation, and not love.
They may need correction, you may need correction, they may need to change, and you may need to change. Therefore, a balance has to occur between fulfilling their needs, and fulfilling the right needs. Nevertheless, the bottom line, the litmus test is, that you desire to put them before yourself. You are not being selfish or manipulative or have hidden agendas, and neither do they. Of course, there will be times we want to control or change them, but we have to be willing to repeal those selfish desires in our heart in favor of their desires.
Real Love happens when presumptions are out of the way, when open communication is happening, and when both are growing in faith. If you are meant for one another, then love will come. Love cannot be forced, manipulated, conjured up, or pretended to be real. You can try to force love for a while, but it would be like teaching a dog to walk on its two hind legs. It will be able to do it for a little while, but not very long, and not very well!
One of the first signs of love is seen when you desire what is best for the other person. You begin to have their best interests in mind, with passion and/or conviction along side, when their feelings and needs are of greater importance to you than your own. What love is not is when you place your needs and plans over theirs, and you project what you think their needs are or should be. When you become the one who chooses what the other wants, then you are on the path of self-gratification and manipulation, and not love.
They may need correction, you may need correction, they may need to change, and you may need to change. Therefore, a balance has to occur between fulfilling their needs, and fulfilling the right needs. Nevertheless, the bottom line, the litmus test is, that you desire to put them before yourself. You are not being selfish or manipulative or have hidden agendas, and neither do they. Of course, there will be times we want to control or change them, but we have to be willing to repeal those selfish desires in our heart in favor of their desires.
I learnt it the hard way. But i did.
2 comments:
If I have to say something on this posting then it should be about change and correction......yes it is constant.....you cannot be firm on everything and there is somethings where you got to be flexible.......rather saying flexible I would say "understanding"......love is not always sweet and wonderful it is sometimes bitter and tough being in it.....so is everything else in life.......quitting a race is always easy but trying hard will only ftech you the price......you have to do all that is required to give confidence coz the person has to come a long way with you and its during your love life you should give him/her confidence.......Love is not cruel, calculative, cunning or selfish that is why they symbolise it with heart and not brain.......love heart to heart do not think too much just keep loving like mad thats all you need to do to be sucessful in LOVE LIFE.....
(I'm Padma, a friend of Maran.)
Love can't be synonimized to something.Its always described in one's own dictionary,The
other person may find it difficult to interpret,or agree.
I would like to add a thought to karthick's. Love is all what karthik had realised in his
own way...I agree.
Love is also something that respects the freedom ,privacy , individuality of the other
person.Unless the other person reveals you something,dont expect him/her disclose each and
everything.Give some time,rather,forget it.You just dont have to know each and everything
about a person to love that person.Behave rationally if you have to come across a past thing
of the other person.
Relationships break or end or continue with troubles,only when there is a threat to the
undersatnding of these three things..I mean Privacy, Freedom,Individuality.Understand that
no one is flawless.Learn to love the person with his/her mistakes.Afterall they are just
mistakes.Like Maran said,"continue to love,even when its bitter" .Its just another flavour
of love..!! But learn also,if the other person tries to ignore you..!!He/She may want a
break from you..!!! yeild to it,dont just argue..As karthik said,its like forcing a dog with
hind legs,to please his master.
Love Unconditionally; but rationally.Love can transform the most simple things to complex
ones and the vice versa.(I have seen ppl transforming their possessiveness to suspections,
and Suspections to a better Understanding.Love is a very powerful,positive energy.So offer
your love to someone who is in badly need of it.Dont just be ready to offer your love, once
you find a person.I saw many guys doing this.They start a relationship in a haste, and find
it troublesome later.They think getting out of it has loads of constraints..Come on..Dont
give a second thought if u dont wish to continue anymore(unless you justify
yourself..!!).Give many thoughts before you start,rather.
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